WARNING: If you are family or friends that don’t want to know/read about our sex life, please don’t read any further lol. 

Who doesn’t like sex? I (Marthe) personally love sex and it is something I like to talk about freely. But I never talk about it on social media, because it’s a private thing to do right? However I really admire people who do talk about sex, post about it and are open about it in public. 

I identify myself as bi-sexual, I was 24, when I discovered I could also fall in love with women, (my coming out story). A whole new world opened for me and of course this also meant sexually. I read every lesbian novel, watched all the lesbian movies, well you get it, I did my research about lesbian love and sex. 

Now I can’t say I’m an expert in the lesbian world of sex, but I do like to talk about it and so I am just going to do it, are you ready? 

So here are some tips if you are new to this, curious or you just want to read about sex 😉

Tips

Know yourself first

Most importantly of all, it doesn’t matter who you have sex with, know your body first. Masturbating is something no one likes to talk about. But it’s very normal, I promise you. Know what you like and know what you want. This is different for everyone and once you know your body, you are also more confident in bed. 

Talk! 

Ok, some people will think; talking and sex don’t go together. When I was younger I didn’t talk so much between the sheets. The results can go two ways; it either goes surprisingly well or it’s just shit. It’s normally bad because the other person doesn’t know what you like and doesn’t know what your previous experiences are. Before I slept with Tash I had already told her I didn’t have much experience with girls. This made me way more comfortable, because I knew I had lowered her expectations ;). So talking before you have sex helps a lot, but also during sex. It can just be some sweet words, you can be honest and you can tell the person what you are comfortable with. You will find out that you can connect on a different level and therefore the sex will be more relaxed. 

Leave toys behind (in the beginning). 

When I was still relatively new to lesbian sex, a girl pulled out a strap the first time we slept together. I was quite confused, but I thought it was normal because I was new to it all. Well, I can advise you now, it is much nicer to get to know each other first. When you really like one another and find each other super attractive, then there is so much to explore. Her body is a playground and there is so much you can do without any extras. 

What do lesbians do? 

I have been asked this question so many times; how do you have sex? What do you do? Don’t you miss a penis? It’s so weird that even strangers can ask about your sex life. People in a heterosexual relationship are never asked: “how do you have sex?” I least I never got that question. So why do people think it’s normal to ask about your sex life when you are with a woman? But what do we do? This is still a secret… No I’m kidding. We do lots! We do everything you can imagine and more. From licking, to scissoring, to fucking. But most of all the connection with a woman is amazing. And yes this part is still a bit private.

 Toys

Once you know your partner well enough and you trust them, it can be a time for toys. There are many variations and options, it can be endless and overwhelming. Talk about it with your partner and go to a sex shop together. I don’t recommend buying on the internet, shape/size/material can be really different once you have them at home. But if you don’t want to go to a shop, then Love Honey is a good website.

What you want and like is super personal. Ask yourself a few questions: do I want a dildo or a vibrator? Do I want a strap-on and do I see myself wearing it? For me personally it took some time before I felt comfortable enough with wearing a strap on. Talk about it with your partner and experiment, because using sex toys and trying to figure out how they work can be quite a challenge, so don’t feel embarrassed, make it fun! And don’t forget to buy lube! 

Roleplay

So there are two girls in a relationship, but who is the boy? Do you get that question all the time when you are in a lesbian relationship? Yes, sometimes a lesbian relationship has one “butch” girl and one “femme”, but that doesn’t mean that the ‘boy’ doesn’t like to be a girl or feel feminine. That doesn’t mean that girly girl doesn’t have a tough and a masculine side. As a couple you know what feels right and you know how you want to represent yourself.

Between the sheets this can actually be quite different. Sometimes there is love making sex, sometimes there is just pure fucking, sometimes there is a boy/girl dynamic. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with, but also try to step out of your comfort zone. Isn’t it fun if you find out that you like it a little kinky or that you enjoy having sex in unexpected places? As long you trust the person you’re with and you communicate, then there is no limit. 

Want to know more?

There are many more things I would like to write about, but for now as a virgin sex writer, I think this is enough. Please leave me comments below, as I am very curious to know what you think. The most important question is, Do you want more? 😉 

Marthe

Originally from Amsterdam, I am now living in London with Tash, after we finally ‘Broke the Distance’. I love travelling and want to visit as many places as possible.