This week is such an important week, it’s Mental Health Awareness Week. This is even more vital with Covid-19 and lockdown as there is so much more stress and a lot less freedom (read here our Blog Post about surviving self isolation). We have stress about health, finances, careers, relationships and the world. It is not easy and yet it seems to have become a contest, for who can do the most during lockdown. We live in a society where we are constantly on the go. We work, race and do. There isn’t a lot of time for our mental health and in Western society we (they) expect a lot from one single individual.
*Disclaimer: This week, I (Marthe) will be speaking about my own experiences. I am fully aware that Mental Health is a very personal journey for everyone and no two stories are the same. I will be giving some insight into the things that have worked for me personally over the years.
According to WHO (World Health Organisation) the definition is: “Mental Health is a state of well-being in which an individual realises his or her own abilities. Can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” Read here an article explaining more about what Mental Health is.
If I (Marthe) speak for myself and look at others; people want a successful job, a good relationship and to be fit. They also want to have good friends, create a family, look amazing, have a comfortable house and go on vacation. We strive for more, for better, to excel at something, to be special, to have enough money and so on. This can result in not feeling good enough or worthy. Also feeling discontent, unhappy and restless if you feel like you haven’t reached your set goals yet.
All of these pressures can lead to forms of mental disorders. This isn’t even including traumatic experiences, abusive relationships, bad childhoods, hereditary diseases and so on. What I am trying to say is that there are a lot of internal and external factors that have influence on your mental health. It can take time, work and understanding to feel mentally balanced.
Keep in mind that disease and an imbalance in hormones can also have a massive effect on your mental health. So if you are experiencing mental health problems, speak to a specialist about this. For example several contraceptive treatments with hormones can often cause forms of depression.
During my life I have experienced some difficult times and with difficult times your mental health is tested. I experienced anxiety, unhealthy relationships, a traumatic situation and sadness for a long period of time. I will not go in depth about this too much because these situations are really personal. What I will do is tell you what I have learned and what has helped me during these times.
This sounds so obvious but a lot of people wait for over a year before they open up to their family/friends about their problems. You don’t have to tell everyone, but speak to someone you trust and who will listen. I walked around with a heavy problem for some time before I felt like I could talk to someone, I felt ashamed. Stigma and stereotypes are still linked to Mental Health and so people don’t like to talk about it. This is already changing, but still needs to change more. Do you feel like you can’t talk to anyone? Go online, there are so many support sites and help centres. There are people who can help. Even if it’s just someone to talk to.
After you have shared your story with someone else, if you still feel like you are not getting anywhere, get help. I believe that everyone should get some form of therapy at some point in their life, just for some self work and to evolve. It’s good to talk to someone that is a professional and who can give you some guidance. It enables you to reflect better and grow. The type of therapy you like is very personal. Maybe it is an old-school talk therapist, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, EMDR, hypnosis or Spiritual Therapy, the list goes on. This can also depend on what kind of problem and/or “Mental Disorder” you are dealing with.
This is easier said than done I know. Especially if you are dealing with depression as it already costs energy to get out of bed in the morning. Try to have a routine, get up and get some exercise in. Do something you like, it can be walking, yoga, running, anything! Get that heart rate up, it will release endorphins, the ‘feel good hormone’. If you start your day energised it sets an intention for the rest of the day and half of the work is done!
Also easier said than done, but fresh and healthy food does more to the body than you may think. If you eat healthy and have a varied diet you just feel better. Don’t drink or do drugs if you feel like you are struggling with your mental health, it might feel good in the moment, but afterwards you only feel worse. Don’t get me wrong, of course you can treat yourself to chocolate or a glass of wine, but try not to overdo it or to do it for the wrong reasons.
This can be important when you are struggling to enjoy life and are feeling negative about everything. Find something that you do enjoy, it can be something from the past, it can be something you have always wanted to do. It needn’t to be big, it can be anything, reading, painting or gardening. For me this is yoga, writing and horse riding. Make it a habit, something that you can do almost everyday.
It is so easy when you are struggling and feeling unhappy to cancel everything. To not socialise anymore, to stay inside and shut yourself away. I say this because I have experienced this so many times. I always feel better after I have been outside. The world is different when you are out, you can gain a new perspective. Go into nature, it can be so healing! Just a little walk in the park or a coffee with a friend can make a difference.
After 28 years, seeing it around me, experiencing it myself, reading many books and talking to wise people. I can say that your mind is your enemy in these times. Your thoughts and emotions can overtake you, you feel like you can’t escape it anymore, it becomes you. One of the hardest things to do in life is to be in the ‘Now’! This is a challenge for me and many others. To accept where we are, to let go of the past and not to worry about the future. I am currently reading ‘The Power Of Now’ by Eckart Tolle and he talks about the topic.
If you have a negative self-image, affirmations and visualisation can help. It is all about changing your thought pattern, changing your behaviour in certain circumstances. We humans are creatures of habit, if you learn to react a certain way to pain, you will do the same thing over and over again. The good news is, you can change this! It takes time and work, but it is possible. I am learning a lot about this nowadays and I can already feel a change, but there is still a long way to go. Tash is also helping me with this. As a Nichiren Buddhist, she uses these philosophies to guide her own life.
This last part might sound a bit vague but if you have any questions please do ask. We are here for you and we always want to help.
Originally from Amsterdam, I am now living in London with Tash, after we finally ‘Broke the Distance’. I love travelling and want to visit as many places as possible.
Originally from Amsterdam, I am now living in London with Tash, after we finally ‘Broke the Distance’. I love travelling and want to visit as many places as possible.
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