As most of you know, Tash and I are expecting a baby in May 2023. This baby will be our first born and Tash is the one that’s currently pregnant. I (Marthe) long to be pregnant too and never expected, (before meeting Tash), that I was not going to carry or breastfeeding all the babies of my future family. When I met Tash, it soon became clear that she wanted to carry too. There wasn’t any major discussion about who was going to carry first. As Tash is a few years older than me, for obvious reasons the decision was easily made. 

A few years ago, during my Doula training, I heard a Doula say that women that haven’t been pregnant, can induce breastmilk. I was so amazed and confused by this, how is that possible? I started to ask around and one of my friends knew another lesbian couple where the non carrying mother had induced breastmilk. Their story was quite unusual and was picked up by a big Dutch news paper. I read it and was immediately in love with the idea. Can you imagine, this baby can grow from me as well? I have always loved the idea of breastfeeding, I think it’s such a natural and beautiful thing to do. A way to both connect with the baby and and to help it grow.

I’ve also seen a lot of different breastfeeding journeys and it’s not always easy. The idea that I can help Tash and maybe share the load, is a massive driver.

So I have written this blogpost to give you more insight. As well as information about why and how I am going to induce breastmilk. 

Where to begin your breastfeeding journey? 

Inducing breastmilk or re-lactating can be done for different reasons:

• Adopted babies
• Babies born via surrogacy
• Queer relationships where one or both of the partners would like to breastfeed

If you are interested in starting this journey, always consult your doctor first. If the doctor is not comfortable with this process, consult a good lactation consultant who is familiar with inducing breastmilk. The International Board of Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLC) has both a national and international registry where you can locate a specialist. 

Gathering information 

The article in the Dutch newspaper was really helpful and it linked to different sources, like The Newman Goldfarb Protocol and the breastfeeding organisation La Leche League. I started reading more information on the internet, but I found it hard to find personal stories and blogposts. The Dutch couple had a similar story to us and I wanted to achieve the same thing; provide the baby with some with my breastmilk, so Tash could do the rest.

But will the milk have the same quality and composition? Testing and research has shown that the breastmilk of someone that has induced lactation can be compared to a birth mothers breastmilk at 10 days postpartum, there is virtually no difference. Other questions are, “Will the breastmilk have the same quality and antibodies when the baby is sick?” The amazing thing is that the babies saliva communicates with the nipple. Therefore the body knows what the baby needs and creates the right cocktail. There is no difference in milk from the birthmother and induced breastmilk. 

The Newman-Goldfarb Protocol

Firstly I read the Newman-Goldfarb Protocol, which is in my opinion the most important piece of information out there. This protocol was created in 2000 by two doctors. Dr. Goldfarb was expecting a baby via gestational surrogacy and wanted to breastfeed her baby. Together with Dr. Newman they created a protocol. As a result she was able to produce around 900 ml of breastmilk a day, how incredible! Since then they have refined their protocol through research. 

But how??

When someone is pregnant, there is an increase in the amount of progesterone, oestrogen and prolactin in the body. These are the hormones that get the breasts ready for breastfeeding. Once the baby is born, the progesterone and oestrogen levels drop and the prolactin level rise resulting in lactation. When trying to induce lactation, the goal is to mimic what happens during and after pregnancy. The contraceptive pill contains hormones (progesterone and oestrogen) and the Domperidone contains prolactin.  

You can also try to putting the baby to the breast after birth without any preparation or using medication to try and induce naturally. This is an option, especially if the goal is not necessarily to provide a full supply of milk but to bond with the baby. It will be less likely to produce significant amounts of breastmilk. 

There are 3 different protocols described in the Newman-Goldfarb protocol. I am going for the regular route, which will give me the best chance of producing breastmilk. Following this protocol means there is going to be medication and herbs involved.

The first step: a special birth control pill 

After I had spoken to my doctor in the UK. It soon became clear that they were not willing to support my journey, Domperidone is one of the key medications and is not prescribed in the UK. I went to Holland instead where they were able to offer it. 

The first step in the protocol is to start a specific contraceptive pill. This is a combination pill that must contain at least 1 mg or more of progesterone and no more than 0.035 mg of oestrogen. The contraceptive pill has to be taken non-stop, so there is no stop-week. It can be started as early as 9 months before the due date to 6 months beforehand. I chose to start 6 months before the due date, because I respond quite heavily to hormones and wanted to reduce this as much as I could. 

After researching different pills beforehand and asking my doctor for Neocon, only to find out that it was no longer available in Holland. I tried to search for others, but it was hard to find one with 1 mg progesterone and 0.035 oestrogen. Fortunately they also recommend using the Yasmin pill for the accelerated and menopause protocol. This is because the Yasmin has 3mg of progesterone instead of 1mg. This means it could potentially work better, and as I’ve chosen for a shorter time frame, this would work in my favour. I discussed it with my doctor and she arranged it straight away. 

Starting the pill

So I started Yasmin in the beginning of November, because the baby is the due the beginning of May. I am now 2.5 months in and I have to say it’s going quite well. In the beginning I noticed changes in my mood, like I was PMSing all the time, not fun times for Tash either. Now I feel like my body is getting used to it. I sometimes have breakthrough bleeding and light period pains, which is to be expected. Due to the fact that you are trying to suppress your period for quite a while. 

6 weeks before the baby is due, the birth control pill is no longer necessary. You have prepared the breasts for the next step. 

Domperidone and breastfeeding 

In the protocol it was advised to take the contraceptive pill together with relatively high doses of Domperidone. I was not a big fan of that idea, Domperidone can have the side effect of dry mouth (1-10%), however, more uncommon side effects are, headache, itchy skin and hot flashes. Domperidone can also cause an irregular heartbeat, so if you have a history of heart problems, you should discuss this with your doctor. 

The idea of taking hormones and Domperidone for 6 months was not very appealing to me, maybe this was too much after all. Then I remembered that the Dutch couple described their journey differently in the article. One of my friends knew one of the women in the article, (what are the chances I thought, maybe Holland is really that small).

Personal Choices

She started Domperidone when she stopped with the birth control 6 weeks before the due date and not before. Together with the Domperidone, she started pumping, which is also recommended in the protocol. She didn’t need a full supply for her baby, because her partner was going to be breastfeeding as well. She managed to pump 380 ml breastmilk the day before the baby was born, which is about half of the supply a newborn baby would need. Stopping the Domperidone and pumping straight away, the supply and demand was under the baby’s control and it worked perfectly together with her wife. They breastfed for 2 whole years. 

This information made me very happy, because I am striving for the same goal. I was relieved that I didn’t have to take the medication for so long. In the protocol it says that to keep going with the Domperidone after the baby is born and then to gradually wean from the medication, this will help the milk supply to adjust. She stopped with Domperidone and pumping straight away, also because of other reasons, but the fact that the breastfeeding went really well after that, makes me optimistic. I don’t like the idea of taking medicine while breastfeeding the baby, although it has been proven Domperidone is safe to take whilst breastfeeding, I want to protect the baby as much as possible. That being said, I have to see how my body responses to all of this, maybe I have to make different decisions depending on the process. 

The next steps

The next step starts in 8 weeks, eek! At the end of March I will stop with the contraceptive pill, start with Domperidone gradually and start pumping. From then onwards it’s going to be more intense. I have to start pumping 5-8 times a day, which will be having an impact on my life. Fortunately we don’t have many trips and things planned from then onwards, because Tash will be highly pregnant. I can also add herbs like Blessed Thistle herb and Fenugreek seed and eat oatmeal for breakfast, this will have a significant effect on my milk supply. How cool?!

For the next blogpost I will be describing the next part of my journey. I will be talking about breast pumps, pumping, my experience with Domperidone and how we are going to schedule our breastfeeding. Tash’s breastfeeding journey is the most important and I hope I can be a great support in that.  

Also keep an eye out on our stories, I have created highlight on our profile, where I will also be sharing information. Want to follow another couple with a similar story? Follow @allieandsam on IG, Sam is breastfeeding the twins whilst Allie is the one that carried. 

If you have any questions, please do reach out, I am more than happy to help.

New to the blog and want to learn more about us? Get to know Tash & Marthe and How We Met.

Thank you for reading!

Marthe

Originally from Amsterdam, I am now living in London with Tash, after we finally ‘Broke the Distance’. I love travelling and want to visit as many places as possible.